Hustling and Coasting off That Jetstream Buzz
A rockstar’s unhinged rant as literature
A few years ago I started collecting rants I stumbled across online as a kind of found art project. The collection never amounted to anything but I’m glad I started it because of this one gem I saved by Sam France.
Sam is the vocalist for the band Foxygen. He’s basically everything you’d want in an indie rockstar: flamboyant, unpredictable, and narcissistic, but in a kind of ironic way where he’s toying with the rockstar trope at every turn—both in his music and in his personal life.
This would be annoying if it were polished, but it’s not. It’s all very messy and chaotic.
On social media, this quasi-calculated but also unhinged rockstar persona results in some truly amazing rants. They’re too good to go unrecognized for their literary merit.
In the spirit of seeing something spewed frantically online as a work of art, I present one of Sam’s best rants. This was posted to Facebook on February 13, 2019:
Hi it’s Sam. TRIGGER WARNING: everything I post on social media seems to be met with messages of concern for my mental health lately - and I know this post will be no different. I don't know why// seems to be more about you than me so there’s my little note of caution... let’s just get that out of the way for the Opinionated Youth. So I know everybody is busy enjoying the new Foxygen single and video - as am I; and I acknowledge that the powers that be have told me not to promote my personal shit during this time - But I need to hustle my my thing too, (OK I am paying off debts which I will not go into...but they aren't my fault basically) so I am premiering my live show at the Bootleg in Los Angeles...So join me, the Original Unoriginal/Costume Rock hustler of Los Angeles ..Unlike the new Foxy press may suggest, I am on the highest quality vitamins and ready…to make records and make deals..I am peddling a new type of music `jungle noise~~, hard to describe so you must 'see' it - with my new band: I'm on that solo train and i’m out here - for HIRE IN L.A. I'm sorry if it's not graceful being out here hustling and coasting off that jetstream buzz of the Foxygen album announce. But please don't give me shit for putting myself out there while you make a GoFund Me for your cosplay knitting circle that needs 8k by next month. No BS, I lvoe living in this beautiful amazing country, being in entertainment - but it is messy - and competitive. It’s true. All you Witch-Hipsters…I present my Fascist Records showcase industry event…This is a big deal for me, there’s going to be some industry big-wigs there so please come populate the place and make me look good. Seeking good deals - funding and/or publishing for solo work..and also distribution for Fascist…So Come to my show..I've found my Crazy Horse (more on that below.) I know right off it doesn't seem as cool and spiffy as a Foxygen set but it’s the closest option for you. I’ll play Foxy songs, anything you want. Los Angeles, this is a steal: If enough people come, I will maybe even leak the new Foxygen album over the PA system before the show. You can even record it, make some weird bootleg and leak it on LimeWire. I’m willing to work with everyone here. I am my own manager, I run my own record company and will be selling VERY limited 45s of some music that will be debuted EXCLUSIVELY for this show - i work by the hour production, ghostwriting..freelance agent, actor, performance artist, party entertainment, dancer, hit songwriter, entrepreneur, clown whisperer…I'm making movies and shit...King and Originator of Modern Costume Rock. The Grinning Prince Faggot of Trash Glam and also, A Great Songwriter..which I will prove to you. I also have founded certain movements of thought like Contextual Relativism and founded a Spiritual System. (People for Divinity Now.) Come see the the real thing in action, Original Unoriginal art rock, with my Power Trio, The Greatest Live Band Of All Time, featuring machine world-creator Matt Pulos of Dub Thompson fame and Noah Champ Davies of the enigmatic field trip...Oh, and also JIMMY WHISPERS IS PLAYING…I like that guy… SEE YOU THERE LOVE, CEO of Fascist Records/human satellite shooting love bullets- Sam France - speedy superhero of rock - oh And a shout-out to the Lord Jesus Christ for blessing me and making me healthy and creative and able to do this for my master Angels! …oh and please be OK with possibly being audio/video recorded. We making a movie. TICKETS - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/sam-france-of-foxygen-tickets-…
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