The Perfect Religion Has Arrived

Humanists now have a clear directive: Don't Die

To borrow an analogy from the podcaster David C. Smalley, Christianity is like Coca-Cola. Even though Coke is largely made out of water, it’s ultimately unhealthy because of all the other ingredients like high fructose corn syrup and food coloring. Similarly, Christianity, at its core, is perfectly benign and even beneficial, but all the details that come along with it (justifications for slavery, historical inaccuracies, childish myths) render the final product to be more damaging than helpful.

In Smalley’s view, just as Coke can be stripped down to a glass of purified water, Christianity can be stripped down to humanism: a nontheistic worldview that emphasizes reason and human potential.

Humanism strikes me as basically an ideal worldview. Except for one detail: It might be a little too stripped down. To continue with the Smalley analogy, purified water is great, but some people still want some flavor in their water.

There is currently a crisis of meaning in the West. As religion has declined, many secular people have failed to find a sense of purpose that really resonates. Although humanism might in fact be the answer to this crisis, I understand why it doesn’t seem satisfying. In a world where the simple directive to “SERVE GOD” is still an option, the humanist directive to…like…“Read philosophy and go to art museums” just seems trivial and a bit elitist.

I’ve written positively about Satanic Transhumanism as a way to give humanism more of a flavor. But any form of Satanism, just in terms of aesthetics, is never going to appeal to the masses. The same is true for all other humanist flavoring agents I’ve come across.

Until now.

The Christian “SERVE GOD” finally has a humanist equivalent: “DON’T DIE.”

This is, yes, the catchphrase of tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson. Like many other credulous religious founders, Johnson hopes to live forever. He’s currently spending $2 million per year to keep himself as healthy as possible. He first came into the public spotlight when a story broke that he was getting blood plasma from his 17-year-old son as part of his effort to age backward. His fame has now been solidified with the Netflix documentary, Don’t Die.

It’s fascinating to watch the lengths to which this man will go in order to ward off death. But even more fascinating is the ideology he’s trying to spread. This is something he’s not subtle about. He actually wants to start a new religion. As he explained in a recent interview:

My ultimate endeavor is that Don't Die becomes the world's most influential ideology by 2027. … If you say, what is the most powerful technology in existence? It's storytelling. And we've seen that religious institutions are the most durable we've seen in society. Companies come and go on the order of months, years, decades, and centuries. Religions go for millennia. We as a species live and die by our stories. And right now, stories are driving what we do with AI as we give birth to superintelligence. And so that's what Don't Die is.

The age of “live fast and die young” is over. It’s time for culture to adapt to the reality that, given advancements in technology, an extended human lifespan is now on the horizon. It’s time to acknowledge that, in Johnson’s words, “existence is the highest virtue.”

That’s the new ideology, the new religion: not to live for fanciful stories about the afterlife, not to accept the “death cult” mentality that death is somehow good because it’s inevitable, but to live like we actually believe in cherishing and preserving life. That means appreciating every moment of being alive and fighting to make a longer lifespan a reality.

What Johnson promotes, really, is humanism with a directive as straightforward as that of any major religion. It’s a directive that anyone can hold onto even in their darkest moments. It’s what can give life a sense of purpose even when nothing makes sense. Just don’t die.

Notably, there’s no poetry-filled religious text associated with Don’t Die. There’s a simple protocol for eating healthily. And there’s an outline for contributing to the endeavor of defeating death: 1) Identify a source of death; 2) State a goal; 3) Create a plan; 4) Build a technology and scale it.

Also, unlike pure humanism, Don’t Die comes with a global community. To become connected, simply pledge your citizenship and download the free app.

For anyone who has abandoned one of the old religions but feels something missing from their secular worldview, Don’t Die may be the perfect alternative.

For those of us who have abandoned religion and have no interest in going back, Don’t Die doesn’t have to be taken as a religion at all. It’s a lifestyle that promotes healthy food, exercise, community, and having an optimistic view of the future.

That’s good enough for me.

And for everyone else, may I suggest another look at Satanic Transhumanism?